It’s just a myth that when you’re in a healthy relationship, everything just falls into places on their own. But that’s not true. Even the healthiest, head over heels relationships also have pretty tough bumps.
But what makes you close again is the will to be one again and cross every bump together, Take decisions together, openly discuss any problems that arise, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
Still, Toxic relationships are another story. And when you’re in one, it can be harder to see red flags.
According to the relationship therapist Jor-El Caraballo, If you consistently feel drained or unhappy after spending time together. It could be a sign that things need to change.
Here are some of the red flags you have been ignoring. These are in fact the signs of toxicity in a relationship. These signs can either exist in you or your partner or the relationship itself.
Lack of support
Neither you or your partner supports each other in anything which makes the other happy. Neither supports each other’s goals.
“Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire to see the other succeed in all areas of life,” Caraballo says. But when things turn toxic, every achievement becomes a competition.
In other words, you don’t feel like they have your back.
Instead of treating each other with kindness, most of your conversations are filled with sarcasm, criticism, or overt hostility.
You may even start avoiding talking to each other.
While it’s normal to experience jealousy from time to time, Caraballo explains it can become an issue if you can’t get yourself to think or feel positively about their success.
Questioning where you are all the time or becoming overly upset when you don’t immediately answer texts are both signs of controlling behavior, which can contribute to toxicity in a relationship.
Holding on to grudges and letting them cause a disruption between both the partners.
“Over time, frustration or resentment can build up and make a smaller chasm much bigger,” Caraballo notes.
You find yourself constantly making up lies about your whereabouts or who you meet up with to avoid spending time with your partner.
Patterns of disrespect
Being chronically late, casually “forgetting” events, and other behaviors that show disrespect for your time are a red flag, Manly says.
Negative financial behaviors
Your partner might make financial decisions, including purchasing big-ticket items or withdrawing large sums of money, without consulting you.
Normal number of bumps exist in every relationship, causing stress and strain. But when that stress changes into a regular thing? That’s when you’re doomed. It destroys your work and study relationships. You find yourself constantly on edge and that’s an indicator that something is off.
Ignoring your needs
Going along with whatever your partner wants to do, even when it goes against your wishes or comfort level, is a sure sign of toxicity, says clinical psychologist Catalina Lawsin, PhD.
For example, you might agree to a vacation they planned, either intentionally or unintentionally, for dates that aren’t convenient for you.
You’ve stopped spending time with friends and family, either to avoid conflict with your partner or to get around having to explain what’s happening in your relationship.
Alternatively, you might find your free time is wrapped up in dealing with your partner.
Lack of self-care
In a toxic relationship, you might let go of your usual self-care habits, Lawsin explains.
You might withdraw from hobbies you once loved, neglect your health, and sacrifice your free time.
Hoping for change
You might stay in the relationship because you see the other person’s potential or think that if you just change yourself and your actions, they’ll change as well.
Walking on eggshells
You worry that by bringing up problems, you’ll provoke extreme tension, so you become conflict avoidant and keep any issues to yourself.